It has been a tough and heartbreaking year for Amanda Kloots.
While she started her new job on Monday as one of the new co-hosts of The Talk, the 38-year-old reflected on Instagram Stories over the weekend about her decision to seek professional help following the death of her husband Nick Cordero last year.
She vulnerably shared with followers:
“New Years has been tough, extremely hard for me. I’ve cried more recently than in awhile. I thought Christmas would be hard, this was worse. I think it’s because when a new year comes you want a clean slate or to forget about last year, esp 2020. But I can’t forget about last year and will not be able to wipe that slate clean.”
Back in July, the Broadway star passed from COVID-19 complications at the age of 41. He left behind his wife and 1-year-old son, Elvis Cordero. At the time, the fitness instructor used her social media platform to reveal a lot of her husband’s struggles with coronavirus, including his initial misdiagnosis and later having his leg amputated.
Since his death, she has been open about her grief as well. In her honest note, she addressed how it has “helped” her, but also admitted how she’s ready to seek therapy to really deal with the loss:
“I also think I’m slightly scared of what can happen in a year, how much things can change. Lastly, I think everything I went through is catching up to me and I am finally ready to go to therapy to address the trauma. I share all of this as my continued honestly about grief and loss. How it ebs [sic] and flows, changes a lot. How it hides and then finds you. How it’s a journey, not just a week. How it’s a continued struggle even as I stay positive and active. How you can cry some days for two seconds or for two hours. How it makes you feel so lonely and confused. Being honest, acknowledging all of this instead of hiding it, has helped me. I hope it helps you.”
This comes days after Amanda shared an emotional photo of her holding the actor’s and her son’s hand while walking in a field. In the moving message, she wrote:
“Don’t wish time away. Time is precious. Make every day count. Be grateful for every day here on this Earth. Be grateful for all the blessings you have,” she expressed. “Take that family photo. Say I love you. Make the phone call. Forgive. Pray and believe. Get back up again. Take one day at a time. Hug someone if you can. Give to people in need. Help others. Don’t wait till tomorrow to do something- LIVE YOUR LIFE.”
Check out the gut-wrenching post in full (below):
Our hearts go out to Amanda, and we hope she finds the help that she needs in the new year.
[Image via Amanda Kloots/Instagram]
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